Wedding Do's and Don'ts

After performing over (and I mean well over) 3000 weddings on beaches, gardens, and back yards over the years, I've made an observation or two, and I'd like to pass a few things along to couples planning (and stressing) over this special day. Now, don't hold my feet to the fire over anything I say here, or get your feathers ruffled! It's our goal here at Beachpeople to marry couples in such a way that their "Inner Children" are marrying each other, rather than those unfortunate couples that only remember what went wrong at their weddings. We want you to remember what went right, and to take home feelings from this day that will last you both a lifetime!

1.) Do dress to be yourself!

This doesn't mean sweatpants and Scooby-Do fuzzy slippers, but I've seen too many brides burdened by expensive gowns that you can't sit down in: that weigh you down like you've got a bag of quarters in each pocket, and cost alot more than a bag or quarters to purchase. For guys, think about skipping the suit (or worse, a tux), and wearing either a colorful shirt, a loose white shirt, and maybe some nice linen or good quality cotton shorts! And for shoes? Fuggedaboudit!

But ladies, if your really want that gown.. go for it!

If you are having photography, the more color and vibrancy you can bring to a bleached white beach scene, the better! After all, this isn't a funeral.... it an awesome and joyous occasion to let your spirits laugh like gulls!

 2.) Do think seriously about your photography options. Trying to save a few bucks by having your family take your photos may be a huge mistake, and one that can't be reversed later. As you can see by the images on our website, we are skilled at getting the shots of all those "only happen once" moments, and we do this with love, humor, and with equipment and skills that will leave you with memories to make your hearts burst with feelings! I've seen too many of those little silver "deck of cards" point and shoot cameras in unskilled hands, and heard too many times those famous last words..."damn it, my memory card is full", or "my my battery is dead"... and I've seen too many great moments pass without anyone being there to record it forever. Amateurs don't understand lens perspective, depth of field or lighting issues, and don't have the experience for posing couples or groups. We do.

3.) Don't settle for just any wedding officiant! Unless you are just wanting to "git 'er done", those plain brown wrapper wedding officiants can indeed get the job done but may not be able to convey and facilitate your spirits like I can! This beach wedding and these very special words will only happen once quite like this! Why squander the moment with someone who doesn't make you feel comfortable or excited? Trust me when I say that comparing myself to most other "cookie cutter" type wedding ministers is like comparing apples to oranges. How many wedding officiants are willing to offer the creative variety of ceremony offerings that we do, including beach drumming, traditions of the sea, or traditions from our Native American predecessors? My ordination comes from an organization concerned with healing energy, so the loving energy that we experience together will be my main focus!

Be wary of the wedding chapel businesses that abound in our area! They may have great websites, (and inexpensive all inclusive packages), but their chapels can be anything from an over decorated office or a finished garage, and in the case of one certain local wedding chapel, what looks to me a large Home Depot type storage building with a faux steeple bolted on the roof! There are also a few former church buildings converted into wedding chapels, located right on very busy and noisy highways or in strip malls. Check them out carefully before you book them! They often charge extra to leave their chapels and go to the beach! We don't.

4.) Don't forget to consider mobility and physical limitations when making up your guest list! If you want a semi secluded beach location, (I know this sounds tough), but grandparents might have a hard time with heat and beach sand, and for some beach areas like Sunset Beach, there might be some moderate distances to walk down some of the western end boardwalks and sandy pathways, with some steps to climb to get over the dunes and onto the beach. I'm thinking that they would prefer that you have a ceremony that meets your needs first, and you can always video tape the ceremony for them to watch later. (Of course, I understand the "politics" of inviting guests, but I've seen too many weddings suffer because of compromises needed to accommodate certain family members.)

5.) It's often windy at the beach! Hair, clothing, wedding accessories all become candidates for flying lessons! (Of course, veils contribute to great photography, especially when we get you to kiss each other behind one!)

6.) Do prepare for your wedding day. Know where your ceremony will be held at! This means taking time for a trial run beforehand, and giving yourself plenty of time to get there. Late starts stress everybody, and that stress can interfere with you having the feelings you need to have! Have a binder with your marriage license, any payments owed to vendors ready to fork over, and any other relevant paperwork handy and with you before you hit the road for your ceremony.

7.) Do keep it simple! This is not rocket science, not a choreographed epic screenplay, not Hollywood, and not an event to dread like a root canal! It's sweet, romantic, human, visceral, intimate, honest, and the very best of what being human is all about! Just do what Obi-Wan said to Luke... trust your feelings, let go and may the Force be with you! The force will indeed be with you, and so will I..... 

8.) Don't try to own all you guest's issues and problems during this time. You are not the tour guides or entertainment directors for all these people. You don't need to mediate fights, placate ex wives or husbands of parents, or in any way give a hot damn about anything but clearing the decks for action... love monkey action!

You are hiring a card carrying old beach hippie to be your officiant! This means that I'm only looking for one thing to happen, and that is for love to be "in the building". Beaches are special places; living and breathtaking focal points for our spiritual selves. They defy petty human control and require us to respect that they are wild places, always existing in a state of grace between the known world and the mysteries hidden beneath the surface. (Kinda like a marriage!) We feel that "larger than ourselves" thing at such a place, and see renewal in action every time a tide washes away a footprint or a sandcastle. It's a place of amazing and humbling power and beauty.

We take from that experience the certain knowledge that life isn't measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

I look forward to meeting you at the beach.

Your lives may never be the same again!

Welcome!